I’ve realized that ever since I’m caught up with blogging and the blogging world, it seems the friends and the close friends i use to have are slowly shunning away from me. The girl i love is also slowly getting out of my sight. The girl that i have always love ever since i was in form 4 appears to be distancing away from me? The best buddy that share the ups and downs with me had too disappeared, literally. It doesn’t seem we are that tad close as we use to be. In fact the gap between us is getting wider. I don’t know what is dividing us apart. I really don’t. Maybe its because of that incident, but rest assure i did what i think was right and i have no regrets doing that. I just want you to know, i am still the same person and yes I’ll be glad if we were as close as we used to be. Things have really change a lot since i was last seen happy – from the inside – I know from my blog, i ‘appeared’ to be happy and enjoying my life, but deep down i am just a lost soul searching for the true meaning of life, filling the emptiness and the missing part of my life. The gap that has been empty all this while just got wider, with more sorrow spilling from the hurtful thought of losing what I’ve cherish most in my life.
I know no doubt, through blogging, I’ve known great friends, great people and of course i now have a bunch of wacko gossipers that i share my stuff with. And I also have a particular special lame friend that has always been hearing all my bitching, rants, and being silly and lame every night. I am really thankful for that.
But it seems as if, the old one goes and the new one comes. Does it always have to be this way? Does it always have to be like this now, tomorrow or in future? Does this mean i am gonna lose my bunch of wacky bitchy gossipers and find a new group of friends? I don’t want to. I love you guys. And does this means i am gonna lose this very special lame friend of mine? It sucks just to think about it.
Ive lost the love of my life, the best buddy that has seen the better and worse of me and of course the friendship that has been built all this years. Why does it have to end like this?
Is this what we call life? Is this what we call ‘friends come and go’?
Is this going to always happen no matter how i try to stop it?
I am not emo. I am not sad. I am just disappointed. I am disappointed in life.